We Can’t All Be Astronauts

About an hour ago, I finished. As those of you who follow me on Twitter are probably only-too-aware, I’ve spent the last two years working on a novel. Given that I’d promised myself that I would never attempt a novel again, this came as a bit of a shock to me. My previous attempts had … Read more

So with video games off the menu until the end of Lent, I just finished reading Northern Lights, the first book in Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. Yes, yes, I know I’m way behind the times, but better late than never, eh? My verdict on the first book? Loved it. After years of editing … Read more

Hey look, Christmas is just around the corner. If you’re stuck for a present for that frustrated writer in your family, or that artsy depressive, or that smug schadenfreude-loving accountant, then you could do a lot worse than snapping up a copy of We Can’t All Be Astronauts, my award-winning book about desperately wanting to … Read more

So, yeah, guess what? Last night, my first book, We Can’t All Be Astronauts, scooped Best Biography/Memoir at the East Anglian Book Awards! That’s good, isn’t it? The judges called it: ‘A funny, poignant, beautifully written account of a budding writer’s quest for literary success.’ Yep. No argument there, judges. As you can imagine, I … Read more

So yes, hooray, tomorrow, Wednesday 30th September, I’ll be reading from my first book, We Can’t All Be Astronauts, at the Bethnal Green Working Men’s Club. But wait! Not only will my esteemed Aisle16 brothers in arms Luke Wright, Joe Dunthorne and John Osborne be providing support with new work, but we have a very … Read more

So We Can’t All Be Astronauts has been shortlisted for East Anglian Book of the Year 2009. You can see who else is on the shortlist here. That’s exciting, isn’t it? I feel very chuffed that the judges liked it. Hopefully a few more readers will stumble across it as a result. I’ll be spinning … Read more

My word, I am pooped. This weekend just gone, I set off for four gigs over two days. My voice still hadn’t (and still hasn’t) recovered from Latitude, so I left little Tim Jr back in Cambridge and resolved to stick to spoken word. I was in fairly high spirits after my gig on Thursday, … Read more

So, after a day of sleeping and staggering groggily about the flat with Supernoodles dangling from my slack gob, I’ve officially recovered from Latitude festival 2009. My voice is still pretty buggered, so no arias for a week or so, but aside from that I’m compos mentis so woot. Despite intermittently shitty weather, this year … Read more

So here’s a video of our attempt to break the world record for most ukuleles playing together at the London Ukulele Festival. I’d been there to open the Grass Ukes Stage, and also because they had an open mic, but I think the world record attempt was pretty much the biggest open mic I’ve ever … Read more

It’s appropriate that Glastonbury is organised by a farmer, because the ancient and fundamental principle of the yearly harvest also applies to the festival – if the weather’s shit, it’ll be shit. I hope that the weather isn’t shit at Glastonbury 2009, because firstly, have you seen the line up? WHAT. It’s actually mental. Blur, … Read more

There’s an interview with me up on essentialwriters.com, which you can go read if you’re somehow not satisfied with the current volume of unsolicited self-disclosure on this here weblog. In other news, I am SO in Grazia today. Well, We Can’t All Be Astronauts is anyhoo. Lauren Laverne dubs it ‘hilarious’. Thank you, Lauren. Do … Read more

These are some pics from the launch of We Can’t All Be Astronauts. Joe Dunthorne, Ross Sutherland, Steve Aylett and Salena Godden all did some terrific readings, and a good time was had by all. Pics courtesy of Dan ‘Scoopmeister’ Derrett.

So I got another review of We Can’t All Be Astronauts, this time at writers’ website essentialwriters.com. You can read the full thing here, if you like. The reviewer, Judy Darley, is mostly nice about it. She says some bits are ‘truly fascinating’, that ‘you can’t help but be awed by his audacity’ and that … Read more

So, I thought I might as well post up the original text of my article on how to get published that The Independent commissioned then wankerishly mangled. I know I’m being a teensy bit precious but it is a bit galling when you get an article printed in a national newspaper but they edit out … Read more

So, I’ve got a little article in The Independent today. Annoyingly, some doltish sub-editor went in, cut out several important sections and changed the box-out at the end. Originally, they emailed and said ‘oh, and I thought it would be rather amusing if Tim wrote a tongue-in-cheek 5 steps on “How Not To Get Published”‘, … Read more

So, We Can’t All Be Astronauts got reviewed on a blog called Geek Pie – and it sounds like they liked it. They call it a ‘brutally honest, hilarious and engaging memoir’, and describe it as ‘the best possible tool for any budding writer or someone wanting an insight into the creative process’. Um, I’m … Read more

Oooooh! Guess what space cadets? Ugh. Okay, that made me a little bit sick in my mouth. Note to self: don’t use chipper wankerisms like ‘space cadets’ ever, ever again. So, in any case, hello undifferentiated morass. With just over a month to go, there’s a short sneak preview from We Can’t All Be Astronauts … Read more

Oh look. It’s me with my ridiculous pudgy face, gazing down like a proud father on my very first book. It’s all downhill from here. Thirty years from now, that book will keep a tattered copy of this photo in its shirt pocket, taking it out between slugs of bourbon to stare at my face … Read more

Today, the guy behind the counter in my local Tesco, a slightly podgy Indian chap with a big boil on the side of his nose, caught sight of one of my badges. He frowned. ‘Why you say… We can’t all be astronauts?’ He pointed at the big blue badge, with the title of my soon-to-be-actually-published-and-real-book … Read more

After yesterday’s second We Can’t All Be Astronauts comic by Line And A Dot, I just happened to be browsing through some of (MS Paint Adventures creator) Andrew Hussie’s other web comics, when I stumbled across a couple of awesome, deceptively simple single-premise series that made me chortle like the mentally subnormal. ‘Inappropriate Time For … Read more

Hooray! Line And A Dot has released a second nose-tingling installment of We Can’t All Be Astronauts, the graphic novel adaptation (the text version of which is TOTALLY available to pre-order on Amazon!). Click on the pic below for a bigger image, and click here for part one.

The shrewder amongst you may have discerned that this blog, far from being a innocently whimsical aggregation of my daily musings, is in fact a massive shill for my forthcoming non-fiction debut, We Can’t All Be Astronauts – which comes out on June 4, and you can preorder now (at a substantial discount). If you’re … Read more

I feel as if posting this will mark an unshouldering of sorts – a chance for me to finally let go of baggage accrued over the past eighteen months. I first discovered This American Life via the superb community blog Metafilter, a website which has introduced me to almost everything I like on the internet. … Read more